Gill Hasson is an expert in the field of personal development, mental health, and well-being, with over 20 years of experience in helping people unlock their potential and live more fulfilling lives.

She is the bestselling author of several widely acclaimed books, including Mindfulness, Emotional Intelligence, Positive Thinking, and How to Deal with Difficult People. Gill’s work spans diverse topics, from mental resilience and self-care to managing relationships and achieving work-life balance, all while keeping a practical, down-to-earth approach.

Beyond writing, she also delivers training and workshops, helping individuals and organizations enhance communication skills, manage stress, and build emotional resilience.

How do you recommend that we balance the need for mindfulness in a fast-paced, often stressful world, where distractions are constant and immediate gratification is expected?

It’s precisely because our lives are fast-paced and stressful that we need to practice mindfulness. Our minds need a break, a chance to switch off. A simple mindful breathing meditation can train your mind to be less reactive to stressful events. It can provide an anchor, helping you feel calm, balanced and grounded.

A mindful breathing meditation simply means being still, calmly breathing in and out. When a thought comes into your head, simply let it go and return to focusing on your breathing. You might like to count to four as you breathe in and count to four as you breathe out. 

Or you can repeat the mantra “I am calm and at peace,” for example. Even one- or two-minute meditation can be helpful, acting like a reset button that you can push to return yourself to the present moment whenever you feel the need.

If a breathing meditation isn’t your thing, doing something that engages you in a state of ‘flow’ is another way of being mindful. A state of flow is a mindful state. Whether you’re doing a puzzle, yoga, dancing, gardening, any hobby, activity, sport or interest you enjoy can provide a sense of flow. Your mind is so focused and engaged, it doesn’t wander off, nothing can distract you. No thoughts or concerns about the past or future enter into your head. You are so absorbed in you that time passes without you realizing it and time, the activity, your energy and focus flow effortlessly along.

What role does emotional intelligence play in maintaining healthy relationships, and how can someone begin to improve their emotional intelligence if they’re not naturally inclined toward self-awareness?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage emotions. It involves using your emotions to inform your thinking, and your thinking – your ability to reason and rationalize – to manage your emotions. It’s a positive dynamic – understanding and managing your own emotions enables you to better understand and manage other people’s emotions.

Emotional intelligence is essential to your social well-being; your interactions and relationships with other people. The ability to pick up on and respond to others’ emotions in appropriate ways can help you to live and work with others more easily. You may not normally be inclined towards self-awareness, but if you want to improve your emotional intelligence you will need to commit to being more self-aware.

You can start by making a conscious effort to make a mental note of how you feel in any one situation. Perhaps something has happened that’s left you feeling upset in some way? Try and clarify what you’re feeling. Disappointed? Frustrated? Regretful? Guilty? Rather than give full vent or ignore or suppress these emotions – acknowledge them. Then look for the positive message. For example the purpose of guilt is to prompt you to put right a wrong. The positive purpose of disappointment (for example, you didn’t get the job) is to slow you down so that you can reflect on what happened and decide what direction to go next. 

I explain more on the positive purpose of emotions in the books I’ve written on emotional intelligence. When it comes to improving your emotional intelligence with other people, if you’re asking someone what they think about something, make a point of also asking how they feel. Practice empathy. Empathy involves relating to a person’s feelings and emotions. For example they might be anxious about giving a presentation. This might not be something that makes you anxious, but you have experienced anxiety, so you can therefore understand how they’re feeling.

Positive thinking is often seen as overly simplistic or even dismissive of real challenges. How do you suggest people integrate a positive mindset without ignoring difficult emotions or life’s genuine hardships?

Positive thinking certainly does get a bad rap! It is simple but it is not dismissive of life’s difficulties and challenges. Quite the opposite. With a positive mindset, you don’t deny or ignore problems, difficulties and challenges.

In any one situation, you start by acknowledging – facing – the difficulties. If, for example, the situation is something that has already happened, you don’t suppress, ignore or deny the loss, the disappointment, regret, guilt, or whatever you’re feeling. You acknowledge the negative aspects and the difficult emotions, and then move on to thinking about what, if anything, you’ve learned from that experience, and what you might do differently in a similar situation. 

And then you look for the positive aspects. It’s a choice: You can stay stuck dwelling on the negative, or you can focus on the positive.